2016: What I’ve learned, loved and decided to be TRUE..

2016:  What I’ve learned, loved and decided to be TRUE..

Here it is lovelies.

The quintessential “What I’ve learned in 2016” blog post.  In no particular order…

Lysol sponges are life changing sponges. Go ahead, laugh. Then buy them. You know that awful sponge smell? No matter WHAT you do? Not with these sponges. Nope. They are small little miracles. Don’t try to find them in a regular store. They are so special that you have to order them online. But just do it. Trust me.

You CAN kill a Betta Fish.

I’m surprisingly good at Shuffleboard.

I think I like Pinot Grigio more than Sauvignon Blanc.

You can never have too many AA batteries. And when you are buying those batteries. Don’t forget the Cs and the Ds. I know, I know…you don’t need them. But when you do, it seriously sucks.

The Binky Fairy is real. (subject of a future blog post…I promise.)

I am now obsessed with Loeffler Randall shoes and handbags. (Yes, yes, the owners are my friends, but if their products weren’t my EVERYTHING, they would not have made this list.)

Sally Hansen Airbrush Legs. It works. Like seriously works. Like it turns blindingly white scary grandma legs into Gisele legs. I know…you don’t believe me. But you’ll thank me later.

Humans of New York makes me feel love for mankind and sometimes worse about myself.

The Grommet is my new favorite website obsession! Check it out.

Gel manicures and pedicures are my new favorite solution to using my hands like a truck digger.

Ok, something I obviously HAVEN’T learned: Don’t forget to put the stroller BACK in the trunk after putting the child that was in the stroller into the car. This has happened to me…wait for it…THREE times. Whenever you feel like you are losing your mind…just reread this entry. The first time I left one on the street, I lost the stroller. Gone. Buh Bye. The second time, I drove right back and got it. Because I am a badass. This of course was the new cheap stroller I got on Park Slope Parents because I had lost the first one. The third time, was with the not so cheap City Mini stroller. This happened about two weeks ago. And here is the kicker. I didn’t realize I had lost it until a WEEK later. Yep. One week. Because I am a hot mess. So after going back and asking everyone in the vicinity of my brain fart if they had seen it, I posted a plea on Park Slope Parents. Guess what? Some totally together, wonderful woman had posted about it a week prior and STILL HAD IT. Not only did she HAVE it, but she drove it back to Park Slope for me to pick up. And not only did she respond to me about my post, but so did 14 other women who had READ the post she wrote the week before. These women all deserve an extra large sippy cup. And I should probably empty mine.

I can no longer read without moving the menu, the book, the phone 8 feet away from me. I now I have reading glasses. But I have the best ones EVER. THINOPTICS. Seriously run don’t walk. They come in a little holder that sticks to the back of your phone and fold down to nothing. And they are only $20. And are guaranteed for life. This gives new meaning to the term Simple Joys.

The Alamo Drafthouse is the most AWESOME place to see a movie in Brooklyn. Google it! Or just click on my fancy link because I am a hot shot blogger now.

Always keep frozen pigs in the blanket in the freezer. It’s a crowd pleaser and if you happen to have a gaggle stop over, you’ll be a hero. The Costco ones rock my world and come in a box of 80. We’ve gone through three boxes over the holiday season.

But if and when you run out…Foodkick will deliver anything your heart desires. Including pigs in the blankets and wine for your sad empty sippy cup. My husband was the first one to order from Foodkick and I was skeptical. Until I ran out of Lays Potato Chips.

I hate the new TWO DOTS game so much except that I love it.

If you accidentally leave hummus and pretzels in your son’s lunchbox and backpack over the holiday break, the only solution is to throw everything out and start over. Backpack, lunchbox and all.

During early November after the world ended, I copied and pasted every anti-Trump post I could find. A month later one of those posts (one I did NOT copy and paste) spread false information that dearly affected a good friend of mine. Lesson learned. The HARD way. Now I wait. I stop. I don’t like to wait and stop, but now I have to. I wait and make sure I am putting out correct information. Because the alternative is devastating. (Keep an eye out about this one in a future post…)

I learned what the word Bokeh means, and have utilized it to take way better pictures than I ever have. This is all due to my friend and AMAZING photographer Phil Street. His photos are so badass and perfect that you really don’t think there is any reason for anyone else to pursue this hobby. In a quick texting session, he led me to a Canon Lens that has changed the way I take pictures. Oh, and it’s only $125.00. Shut up. Phil is the bomb diggity.

Perception is not reality.

I now know the entire score of School of Rock the musical by heart. And I can say without a doubt that seeing Hamilton was worth it.

A box of white wine in the fridge makes me FEEL like I am drinking less. “I can just pour one glass!” However, it has been proven that this is an untrue fact. But it does make me feel like a hipster.

Our lives would be subpar without Priscilla, Zoe’s bus driver.

We also would have a hard time surviving without Maria, our security guard and front desk goddess at Berkeley Carroll. She knew my name on the first day of school before she had even met me. She is an incomparable rockstar.

Using a hand puppet can often get your children to do things they wouldn’t normally do. It’s incredible how they will listen to a puppet over their parent.

I can’t live without my wet erase wall calendar. But I shall leave you in suspense…watch for a post about it soon. It needs its own post. Really.

Our Elf on the Shelf is a party animal.

I can now make a word or phrase into a link you can click on.

It astonishes me that The Pantsuit Nation isn’t followed by every human being. It is truly a gift to all of us and one that helped me get through the terrible two weeks after the election. These women are the salt of the earth, the badasses of all badasses, the nurturers, the fighters, the brave. If you haven’t visited the site, please do. But give yourself an hour. The stories will rock you.

I don’t think I will ever love a president like I loved Barack Obama.

I am bringing back the fanny pack.


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